Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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