note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
That reminds me...we need to get swords
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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