He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
PANTIES FOUND
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