I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
