There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
