I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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