I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
