VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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