the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
