u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
from now on my penis is your penis
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize