So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
