Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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