my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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