Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
