He disabled his match.com account in front of me
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize