I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm too high and old for this...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
