redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize