OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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