Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
