can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
