Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
