I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
