Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
