i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
