Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
