You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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