No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
