tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
