She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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