So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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