thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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