I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
