I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Never underestimate the power of titties
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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