her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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