It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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