Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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