sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dignity is for republicans.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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