Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
