smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize