i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
