i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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