i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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