Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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