took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
