What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we're making bets on your personal life
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
