you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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