It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
