Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
