You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Randomize
