awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
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You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
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had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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