I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
