Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
two words: eviction party
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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