The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
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Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
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I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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