can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
