Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
