Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
