i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
where am i from again
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
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He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
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I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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