so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
