I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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