Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just pee around me
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
