I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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