Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
