you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
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while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
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it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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