What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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