It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
