i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
