Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
