I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
