i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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